You should remain with the family till death
Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.
It is an established fact that the family is the best institution this man could create and establish and it seems this unit could be established only after the establishment of this marriage system. When there was no marriage system, there was no family, no children, no father, no grand father and there were no brides. The man on this earth might have been having relations with opposite sex but all such relations could not rise above the animal relations. Therefore, we must accept that life prior to this marriage system was just like Hell on this earth and when the man could establish this family system that day was the happiest day in the life of this man and in the life of this woman.
When we could establish this family system, a new type of relationship took its birth. These relations were not based wholly on sex, but we could develop love for our children, respect for our parents and other elders in the house, we could bring brides in our house and thus we could expand our relations from one family to another family and so on. We could learn the art of living together, accepting each other, loving each other, maintaining each other, looking after the well being of each other and helping one and another in the family. We started bringing up our children with a hope that one day these children shall help us in our old age or when we shall not be fit persons for the society and we shall not earning. This family system taught us to live together and continue this unity. The sons had been separating, the daughters had been going to other houses as brides, but still this family system continued because new members had been coming to this family. We had been marrying our sons and had been bringing brides in the house, we had been having sons, grand sons, grand daughter and the like and then we had been adding new relations because of marriages of our children and grant children.
We had been having joint family system and there had been times when this joint family system started breaking because our sons had been establishing new houses for their own families. This process was not tolerated at one stage, but later on we accepted as a due process and we ourselves started establishing new houses for sons and this process continued up to date. But still the old people in the house are to live with some remaining members. The old people should not be divided nor they should be left un-attended. The parents should choose with whom they shall live for the remaining life and all the sons must know this fact and all should try to help these children who shall be having parents with them and shall be attending upon them till their last days.
The parents must know that they are dependant and therefore, they should have good relations with all the children including their daughters in law because they must know that ultimately these daughters in law are the people who shall be attending upon them. Their sons shall be out for earning money and they shall be left in hands of their daughters in law. The daughters in law are the persons who shall be taking care of the old people in the house. They shall be giving them food as per their likings, as per their demand and they shall be providing the old people with fresh and hot food. They shall be serving them when they are old and infirm and are not able to work and move. Most unlucky persons are those who could not create good relations with their daughters in law and they are the most sufferers in old age. The mother in law must note that one day she shall be dependant upon this new girl who is being rebuked today and whose works and conducts are not being appreciated and liked by the mother in law. Such mothers in law shall be the sufferers. Therefore, when we are dealing with our children including these brides, we must keep in our mind our old age and the last days of our life. To day we are young and we are earning and we are in a position to look after us, but such days shall not continue in old age. the man who is full of power and energy today shall be handicapped and weak person one day and he would not be in a position to take a glass of water from the kitchen or from the fridge they have in the house and one day they shall not be in a position to ease themselves in the morning. In these days these foreign people shall be serving the old people. The young people of today, must keep in their mind these old days and keeping in view these days of our life, we should try to develop relations with other members in the family and especially with our daughters in law.
All is very easy. We are social animals and we do like to have good relations with others. All these fights and quarrels do not give us pleasures. We suffer when we are developing bad relations with others and especially when we develop bad relations with a member of our own house. These are our own people. They all are our blood relations and the people we had been adding had been brought for our sons and therefore, they should be our beloveds because our sons shall depend upon them for the remaining part of their life. The family system and this marriage systems are the best institutions and the best establishments of this man on this earth and therefore, we all should give due respect to these institutions and must try to keep these institutions neat and clean. We should not have a bad eye on our daughters in law and we should take them as our own daughters. We should love them and must allow them to have an adjustment in this new house and they should be allowed to take the position of daughters in the house of their in laws. Since our old age totally depends upon these daughters in law, we should realize their position in the family and must act in such a way that they should be most important people in our old age. We should believe in the concept of love begets love and hate begets hate and therefore, love for the children is the only out way. If we had been attached with money and had not been helping our children when they were in dire need and we had been keeping all these money for our old age, it would not help us because in old age money does not work, but people of our own family shall work. This fact of life must be kept in mind when we are young. We should believe that all we have is for the children and the children are the real owners of all the assets we have and therefore, they should not be kept away from these assets. They should be allowed to say that they are the real owners of all the assets of their parents. If we adopt such a way in life, then there are chances that we shall be having a happy life in old age and we shall reach God peacefully. We should not keep alive the old saying that old age is a regret.
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