"I"d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits
Reality has to do as much with the structure that is defined as it does with the assumptions that we make about that structure. That"s a pretty dense sentence. Read it over a few times.
Reality is made up as much with the structure that"s defined as it does with the assumptions we make about that structure.
The idea behind this one sentence, if you can understand it and put it to use, will skyrocket your ability to persuade as it begins to come out into your behaviors and language.
This is even more powerful when it comes to words, what they imply, what they presuppose. The following truism about persuasion is something that has formed the basis of my work, even before I was able to articulate it in exactly this way: people might believe what they are told, but they"ll always believe their own conclusions.
This is important so I"m going to say it again: People might believe what they are told, but they will always believe their own conclusions.
You might be able to tell someone something and they believe you and maybe they"ll go along with what you"re saying. However, if you help them to conclude on their own what you want them to conclude, that is going to be a solid belief. Part two of this truism is, they will form their conclusions as much from what you *don"t* say, as what you do say.
This is something to memorize and live by. People might believe what they are told, but they will always believe their own conclusions and they will form those conclusions as much from what you don"t say, as what you do.
The key then is to learn how to structure what you say such that what you don"t say communicates more powerfully than what you do say. This will make people come to the conclusion that you want them to have on their own.
The following example falls into a linguistic category called Spoonerisms which illustrate the idea that people might believe what they are told but they will always believe their own conclusions. A Spoonerism may be thought of as a "slip of the tongue" but often they"re a play on words. The example of "Go and shake a tower" might be a funny and more subtle way of telling someone they stink. When you hear "go and shake a tower" your brain (most likely) will automatically fill in the statement with, "Go and take a shower."
You hear the actual words I"m saying, but your brain reverses them to make sense of it.
When you heard the statement, you did it on your own. So when I say people might believe what you tell them, but they"ll always believe their own conclusions, this is what I"m talking about. They will form those conclusions as much from what you don"t say, as what you do.