Son loses position on marriage
In some of the societies a son is the most important person in the family. All parents want a son and here in India people often kill a daughter before her actual birth because they would not like that a person from their house should go to the house of another and then suffer their. They are also not liking that they have to arrange dowry when is an unending problems here in Indian society. Most of the girls are either killed by the people in the house of their in laws or they are compelled to commit suicide. So the parents desire that they should have sons and sons only.
It must be accepted that the parents take more care of son and they shall try to give better education, training and better adjustment at work to the son with a hope that he shall be maintaining the house after the parents become old or are stopping earning for the family. They know that the son shall live in the house and they also know that the daughter shall not live with the parents, but shall have to shift to the house of her in laws after her marriage. Therefore, all their efforts are towards the proper growth of their son.
In most of the societies sons get the properties and assets of their parents and if there is some law that the daughters shall also take some share, such a share is not given to them and it is on record that the parents write off the share of daughter with the remarks that they had already spent much on the marriage of daughter and therefore, she is not entitled to any further share in the properties and assets of the parents. In rare cases the sisters go to Courts to get their share and in this regard too, the brother is better placed in the family and in the society.
The son is loved by all in the house because he shall be their protector and provider. But this honour and respect is short lived because when he marries, he has to spare most of his time towards his wife and the other people in the house shall not tolerate all these happenings and changes in the house. The sisters shall be fearing that they are losing their brother. Similarly the mother is not tolerating all these departures on the part of their sons and they shall start commenting upon him and shall not be showering all love and affection on him. The boy who was the center of all love and affection in the house become a stranger today and it becomes very difficult for him to please both the parties. If he goes toward his wife, the other members are not happy and when he goes towards his parents and other members of the house, then his wife says that for what purpose he had brought her to this house. Very rare people could adjust in such circumstances.
We have noted that parents of daughter shall like that they find a house where there is no mother in law and if their are daughters those are married or shall be married soon and shall go away from the house. They know that their daughter shall not get due love, regard, respect in the house where there is a mother in law and there are sisters of the boy because all these ladies are the persons who shall be creating troubles for the daughter. And when the bride is in difficulties, her husband who is the son of this house shall also suffer.
The people in the house would not like that they are ignored and therefore, they shall be having supervision whether the wife of the son is provided the same items or her items are growing in number. They shall make it sure that the son should not be allowed to sit all alone with his wife and they should not be allowed to visit others known to them. They would see that the bride is not provided with things which were not in the family prior to marriage of the son. They shall see that the son is not developing good relations with the bride and at times they shall be creating complaints and they shall be the first to make all these complaints when the son returns from work. The son shall be facing difficulties in deciding the complaints because most of the complaints are baseless, but the son is not in a position to decide the complaint in favour of his wife.
In countries like India, the son faces so many difficulties, but still they live and ultimately the son has to shift from this house because he knows that his relations with his wife should be strong because she is his life partner and shall be with him throughout in his life. The people complain that the sons of today are not good and obedient to the family, but they never come to realize that they themselves had created all the situations under which the son had to shift and go out of the joint family.
The son is the sufferer of all these situations and therefore, time has come when the people in the house must realize that they should allow the son to develop good relations with his wife who has joined him as his life partner and they should be allowed to learn the art of running a house. The other members of the house must keep the son a member of the house and should not create situations in which the son runs away from the joint family. It is possible only when they accept the bride as their daughter and give her due place in the house as and equal member of the house. The parents themselves had been in such situations when they married, therefore, it is their first duty to make it sure that their son is not facing difficulties and especially the father must see that his wife and the mother of the son takes the bride as her daughter and more than daughter. And it is possible because there is nothing impossible in this world and when such relations are most necessary to keep the son happy, the parents and other members in the house must bear all these new situations and accept these situations as normal items of day to day life on this earth. The son should be allowed to remain as the most important person in the house in spite of his marriage and the changed circumstances because all the daughters shall go out and he is the only person who shall be looking after the old parents. The family shall continue because of the presence of the son. The parents shall be known and remain in existence because of the presence of the son. No one should create troubles for him and if he is developing good relations with his wife, they all should help in this process.