by Rafael Corney, dating coach
"She"s just not into you, Rafael," my buddy Ed said to me for the 10th time.
I didn"t want to believe.
I didn"t believe it.
After all, she went out with me for coffee twice, she responds to my emails, and she laughs at my jokes.
But...
"That" right, Rafael, but ..."
Most of the time it"s pretty obvious when a woman isn"t "into you."
But there are also lots of times when it"s not so obvious.
Here are 5 maybe-not-so-obvious clues that this lady you think is pretty hot may be lots cooler than you think.
1.Email:
True, she responds to all your emails, but sometimes it takes her 3 or 4 days to do so.
Now, if she was REALLY into you, she would respond to your emails either the same day or at most, a day later.
The thing is, the "into you" babe GOT your email right away, no doubt about that, but she holds out in replying for at least a few hours so as not to appear to anxious.
2.Meetings:
When the babe isn"t "into you," she just doesn"t care - doesn"t care that she"s late, doesn"t care about wearing makeup, doesn"t care about what she has on, and just plain doesn"t seem to care.
In contrast, the "into you" lady apologizes even if she is only a few minutes late, her makeup and hair look great, she is dressed fabulously, and she gives you the overall impression that she, well ... cares!
3.Excuses:
We"re talking excuses - and pretty lame ones at that.
Like, you ask her out for dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in town, and she tells you she can"t go because she has to wash her hair!!
(In case you were not alive then, this one is from the 60"s.)
If she IS into you and she can"t make a date with you, it will be because of something awful, like her father has died, and when you look in the obits, sure enough, there is his name!
4.Attention:
Or rather, lack thereof.
If you do manage to get the "not-into you" gal out on a date, be prepared for having someone treat you badly, and I do mean badly.
Whereas you have your cell phone turned off, hers is alive, well, and ringing (The Battle Hymn of the Republic) literally every 5 minutes.
She doesn"t even say "excuse me," or "sorry" when she picks up the calls. In between, when you manage to get in snatches of conversation, she looks around at everything but you, and when you ask her a question, she replies, "Huh?"
Needless to say, the into-you lady would not have her cell turned on, and would hang on your ever word.
5.No Show:
Here"s one: she invites you to meet her somewhere, say for coffee or a drink, and so now you"re sure she"s into you!
You show up at the appointed hour, and no babe.
You wait and wait - an hour in all.
Dejected, rejected, and miserable (I have to talk to you about these things, guys), you leave.
Even though your buddy says not to, you send her an email asking what happened.
I mean, she could"ve gotten in a wreck or something, right?
hree days later, you get a response.
She says she got hung up at work and that she hopes you weren"t waiting long.
No "I"m sorry," no "I feel terrible."
Wow.
She also asks if you want to try again.
You"re tempted, but this time you think you might listen to your buddy who insists, "Look it here, dude, this babe is just not into you!"
C"est la vie!